When to Stop Trying……

i wrote this a year ago.... and still want to share to yo'll.....


When to Stop Trying……

My wife scheduled me for an eye surgery at 6.00am in North Sydney. Being miles away from that suburb took us to wake up very early on that day, which we don’t normally do. I don’t know about other people, but when I don’t get enough sleep I’m grumpy the whole day. Anyway, it goes without saying, it wasn’t a good morning.

Then we have to walk few minutes to the bus station on a cold, eerie morning, I thought - any moment vampires could be jumping on us – thank God we got to the bus station without missing a piece.

From the bus station it’ll take about a good 5mins to the train station, and not being in my good self you’d know how long that 5mins felt… it was boring long!

Luckily when we got to the train station there’s a train waiting for us. We quickly jumped on the train, looked for a nice and comfy spots and settled there. My wife really knows how to start a conversation; she filled our trip with lots of stories that made it less boring.

Oh and by the way, the other reasons I wasn’t in my good self because I’m pretty scared of the surgery. Who wouldn’t? It’s my eyes that we’re talking about here and it’s my 2nd major surgery (The first was my 'tuli').

Anyway, we eventually got to the hospital. And just like any other hospitals, even though you have a scheduled time, you still have to wait…. and so we waited.

While I was waiting, I overheard a couple talking about having a baby. Well, they both wanted to have a baby but I feel the woman is more worried because of their commitments. And I heard the woman said, ‘Maybe it’s not our time yet, let’s just wait and stop thinking about it. If we’re meant to have a child, it’ll come in its own perfect time.’

And then I thought, if we wanted something, do we really wait for our perfect time? When is the prefect time? When we’re old and not able to enjoy it? When we’re young and snowed with commitments? Who gets to say… ‘ok, now, it’s your turn’? Do we just let fate decide for something we really want? Do we stop trying?

I have a very good friend and classmate that’s two-month pregnant. They have been waiting for that baby. They were not successful at first, and that was the most painful experience her family had…. I could almost cry reading her story. Even so, they didn’t wait, they kept trying because they think there, here and now is the right time to have an angel in their family. And look at her now, she’s pregnant and expecting. If she would have waited and stopped trying, would she be this happy?

I remembered some of my friends in manila. I didn’t hear them wanting for some kids, but it’s like they’re giving birth every year. Does that mean it’s always their time to have kids? But they couldn’t even support themselves let alone a child. What are the real parameters in having a baby? Our financial and emotional conditions, are they ones of the ‘X’s in the equation?

If women in their 60s pray day and night for a baby, will they eventually have one although their biological clock is ticking like crazy? Is science correct when it say’s women stop producing baby at such and such age? Were they destined not to have baby early in their lives? Does this mean they waited too long? If so, when do we stop waiting?

These thoughts kept running around my head when the nurse called my name. Oh yeah, it’s my turn now and soon I’ll have a good vision that I always wanted. Did I let this happen by itself? Well, my wife booked me for this surgery, we both made an effort to get up early in the morning and we’re not morning people, plus the walk to the bus station is as scary as the first part of Michael Jackson’s thriller video.
I thought I stopped trying for a better vision… but I didn’t. My wife said that I just took a rest and then started trying again…. She always sees me constantly looking, searching, wanting for a better vision….. and now I have it.